Artemis Fowl: Devil Spawn

(i'm going to LAUGH if i get fanart for making this XD)

Fowl Manor; Artemis's Study

The Irish teen was sitting in his study looking up a few things on the computer. "Butler, can you please get Myles and Beckett out of my room? They're messing up my bed sheets and I just got them tidied up." He was constantly glaring at the two curly blondes as they jumped on the bed and messed up the sheets further.

Butler grabbed them mid-jump and put them outside the door, closing it afterward. "Better?"

"Very." He went back to what he was doing. "With them in the room, there were four people," Artemis mentioned after a few moments and then shivered. "Should've kicked them out earlier." He shuttered when he didn't start his sentence with 'I'. That would have made him say six words.

He clicked on something which opened a link to Captain Holly Short. It rang a few times before she answered, a smile on her face.

Artemis interrupted her greeting. "Holly, can you take out a pencil from that cup?" A cup with six pencils was sitting right at the corner of the screen. "Sorry. Hello. How've you been?"

"I'd ask you the same, but I see you're still very OCD." She smiled regardless. "How are the twins?"

"Still both four years old…" Artemis sighed and leaned back in his chair. "They're pests as always. I wonder how Mother and Father deal with them so easily!" Rubbing his temples to get rid of his rising headache, Artemis glanced back at the screen. "Thanks for taking out one of the pencils, Captain Short."

The elf nodded. "Foaly told me it would be best to go along with your Atlantis Complex until you start to get a little better about it." She then showed him the pencil. It was red with stars on it. "There was another of this in it, so now all of the pencils are different. I thought you might like that."

Artemis pondered out lout for a moment. "Five different pencils… Yeah, that sounds fine." He crossed his arms. "I called you for a reason, not for idle conversation; no matter how much I'd love for that." Again, the Irish teen paused to think.

"So far, there have been two fairy diseases I've heard of. Are there anymore?" Their different colored eyes met for a split second which made Artemis blush and have to look away.

Holly giggled. "You're adorable when you're nervous. There aren't many others that I know of that affect humans… thought both of those shouldn't have either." Then she remembered that Angeline's hadn't been real. "There is still Spelltropy since your mother didn't really have it."

Artemis nodded, then he stopped, staring at something.

Butler was across the room listening to the conversation and looked up when Artemis grew silent. "Is everything okay?" The Eurasian thought his young principle was looking at him. "Artem–"

Artemis screamed and fell out of his chair. "There is an eight-legged devil spawn on my computer!!!" He was pointing an accusing finger at the computer.

As a reaction, Butler rushed over, but stopped when he saw what it was. "Really? Are you really pointing at that?"

Holly's eyes were wide. "What is it?"

"SPIDER!" He screamed again – like a little girl actually – and hid under the desk.

Butler couldn't help but laugh. "It's just a jumping spider."

"It has eight legs, yes?" He glared at Butler, his fairy eye shimmering.

"You remind me of a cat when you look at me like that…" Butler mentioned before getting a tissue and grabbing the spider. He made sure not to kill it and gingerly placed it on the outside of the windowsill. "There. The eight-legged devil spawn is gone. By the way," he looked back under the desk at Artemis, "that spider lived under there and it's web is in your hair."

After hitting his head, Artemis jumped between Butler's legs and fled to the corner of his room. "GET IT OUT FROM UNDER THERE!" Then he ran from the room screaming, "SHOWER!!!" four times to make up for saying only six words in his previous sentence.

Holly snickered. "Oh. My. Gods. I'm so glad I was recording that! Foaly and Commander Kelp will get a kick out of that!"

Butler nodded. Then said, "Make a copy for me to show his parents. That was awesome! I don't think he's run that fast since you two were running from those trolls."

She shook her head. "He was running faster just now."

"Classic." He waved goodbye to her and closed out the chat.